Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Winter, winter everywhere, at least in the northern climes...

Here's a bit of what the national news is looking like this holiday week:
  • Dec 21: A winter storm is continuing to sweep across large swathes of the US, with heavy snow and strong winds disrupting transport and power.

  • Dec 22: Weathermen say Canada may see its first countrywide white Christmas since 1971.
  • Dec 23: Washington state faces hurricane-force winds and up to 6 inches (15cm) of snow as a storm blows in from the Pacific.

  • The above led me to post what one friend recently sent me that might fit as 'winter humor' coast to coast north of latitude 38*.

    December 11: The 1st snow of the season. The wife & I sat for hours by the window watching the huge flakes drift down from heaven. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

    December 12: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years & felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. I was surprised when the snowplow came along & blew snow over the sidewalks and closed in the driveway. Oh well, I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob’s a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

    December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. ‘Whew’ the temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle. Wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway & sidewalks. This is the life! Surprised again by the snowplow, it came back this afternoon & buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly huff & puff my way back in shape.

    December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. Wow $$$! The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. After all - we aren't in Alaska.

    December 16: Ice storm this morning. Salting the driveway I fell on my butt. Hurt like hell! The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

    December 17: Still way below freezing. Too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

    December 20: Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of that damn white stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. And guess what!?! The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

    December 22: Cold, cold, cold!!! Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to take a whiz. By the time I got undressed, and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think he’s is lying.

    December 23: Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

    December 24: 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow!!! I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour & throws snow all over where I've just shoveled! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

    December 25: Bah humbug! 20 more inches of slop tonight - The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head & broke my last shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's out of her mind! If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

    December 26: Still snowed in. Why in blazes did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

    December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

    December 28: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

    December 30: Roof caved in. Just found out - the snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

    December 31: I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

    January 1: Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me but why am I tied to the bed?

    That certainly brought a chuckle to me. Remember, a good sense of humor will get you through more problems than a quick temper. No matter if you are traveling, shopping, prepping, cooking, or wishing for all of the above, the holidays are always challenging on some level. Take a deep breath, relax a bit and remember 'we're all in this together'...

    Ho, ho, ho... Foster

    Holiday Stress Relief tips: http://sbinfocanada.about.com/od/timemanagement/a/holidaystress.htm

    And another: http://www.goodhealth.com/articles/2008/12/10/holiday_stress_relief

    Other thoughts: http://www.stress-relief-for-well-being.com/holiday-stress-relief.html

    Hey, wait a minute - I'm an aging parent too: http://www.prweb.com/releases/aging_parents/holiday_stress_relief/prweb484091.htm

    1 comment:

    maddmaxx said...

    Hope you have begun a wonderful newest year. I love your site and have shared it with a few firefighter friends for the great coverage of the garage fire. Also really appreciated your poem.

    It didn't get as cold here in the islands as you experienced but we actually got down into the teens. Very unusual for here but kept things interesting. We had a house fire at the bottom of a nightmare driveway (thank goodness it was DOWN hill). We saved the 3 story home by some miracle. The fire was in the rabbit warren of crawl spaces which had spread into the ventilation system. Our hoses froze solid, the volunteers nearly succumbed to the same fate! It was cold 12 plus hours. For many, it was the first frozen north experience. I have great appreciation for what you deal with in a normal winter.

    Hope to see you all this year!
    Maxx Jones